How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
