dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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