That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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