What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
