Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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