It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
