she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
