The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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