Me too!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
