I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
