good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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