ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
