I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
