My room smells like vodka and shame
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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