speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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