I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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