Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
me + whiskey = a bad person
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
