i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
