at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
