apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
