i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love you. Go after that dick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
