Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
me + whiskey = a bad person
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
