I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
