I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
