a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
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