Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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