make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
