Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
