Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
