the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
