Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
