? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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