You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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