I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize