I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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