u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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