Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
