i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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