its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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