My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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