There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
