I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
