What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
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