i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize