sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
