How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
