She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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