he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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