Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
