Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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