Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize