The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
