If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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