walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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