Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize