Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
