OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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