So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
