i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
