I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
