There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
